Zebra Seeking Spoons

I’ve been blessed with having several days in a row now where, despite still being in pain, I have the focus and energy to do things that I enjoy. Like finally working on this blog, for example. I’ve been able to work on knitting the baby blanket for my brother’s soon to be first born, watch and actually retain information from TV shows I enjoy, and I went down the street to our neighbors’ little farm stand this afternoon to pick up some baked goods and vegetables. It’s so rare that I have more than one of these days in a row, and so I’m really anxious about how I will feel tomorrow. When is my next crash going to be? How bad will it be? How long will it last? These are all things that are constantly swirling in my mind when I’m having a good day. I do my best to push those thoughts aside and stay in the moment because these moments are so few and far between. They are so precious to me. Last night I went upstairs (I live in the basement of my mother and stepfather’s house but rarely leave my room) just to say hi and had a lovely conversation with my stepdad. Afterwards, I heard him tell my mother that he couldn’t remember the last time we had talked for that long. It broke my heart a little, the fact that we live in the same house, but I am often bedridden and unable to engage socially. But the important thing is that I was able to yesterday and I am able to today, and if tomorrow is a crash, bring it on. Even a bad crash is worth having a string of days like this.